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August 29, 2006

Shit Happens

It doesn't have to do anything with the main concept of my blog, but I found this hillarious.

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

- Taoism: Shit happens.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
- Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
- Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
- Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
- Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
- Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
- Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
- Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
- Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
- Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
- Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
- Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
- Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
- Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
- Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
- Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
- Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
- Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
- Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
- Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
- Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
- Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
- Creationism: God made all shit.
- Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
- Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
- Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
- Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
- Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
- Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
- Darwinism: This shit was once food.
- Capitalism: That's MY shit.
- Communism: It's everybody's shit.
- Feminism: Men are shit.
- Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
- Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
- Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
- Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
- Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
- Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
- Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
- Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
- Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
- Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
- Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
- Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
- Jehovah's Witnesses:Knock - Knock - Shit happens

- Alternative Buzz: Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

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